30 Days of Thankfulness - Day 11: Tradition

Today I am thankful that a tradition is something that can be made new every year. Repeating rituals again and again can be comforting and definitely something to look forward to as a child. However, as an adult, associating the memories of a lost loved one with a traditional event can be so painful. Due to that loved one's absence, creating a different ritual is sometimes necessary to get past the happier traditions of days gone by that are now just sad.

My mom loved every aspect of Thanksgiving dinner--the turkey and all the trimmings as well as family gathered at her table. Special recipes were reserved and only prepared for this November holiday. She looked forward to the lemon-lime gelatin salad and cranberry relish that complimented the flavor of the turkey and dressing so well.

Last year, as the Thanksgiving Day holiday came up so quickly following Mom's death, I couldn't bear to make her favorite dishes without her there to enjoy them, and thus a new plan was made.

We made reservations at a country club for their Thanksgiving buffet and enjoyed all the festive foods without the cooking and clean up. I watched the Thanksgiving Day parade on television for the first time ever, leisurely got ready to go, and had a most enjoyable time with my family. We had such a good time, that we are planning to do the same outing again this year, which now makes it a tradition.

"Hello...is this 2-0-1-5?"

MILESTONES AND OUT WITH THE OLD...
Yesterday marked two months since my mom's passing.  With the holidays of Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Year's encompassing those two months and all the requirements and gatherings involved with said holidays, the time flew by!  I survived not too much worse for the wear.  

I did shed quite a few tears and had some down times--not surprisingly during food prep events, as mom loved food--traditional holiday dishes especially--and was always so appreciative when I would cook or bake for her.  I found myself feeling inadequate with each dessert I attempted--second guessing whether or not I was preparing it correctly without her experienced eye assisting in the process.  

I admit I had a couple of spectacular meltdowns during the making of her fudge and her butterscotch pecan cookies as she would always assess the done-ness for me and make yummy noises during the first sampling, and it was heart wrenching for me that she wasn't here to do that.

If it weren't for the constant reminders I get from Mom, I would probably plunge into a deep depression.  The appearance of a purple butterfly in the most unlikely places keeps me going and gives me hope and peace that she is in a better place, and we will be together again one day.

Slowly, I am working on the arduous task of "going through things" at Mom's house.  

It has been harder to part with the "things" than I thought it would be.  I have been thinking about how I found her that Sunday morning two months ago and thinking about ways I could have prevented that moment. And "things" like clothing she wore or books she had on her shelf seemed like all I had left of her.  

After reading Glenn Beck's book, "The Christmas Sweater," I came to realize that instead of thinking about things, I needed to be remembering feelings I had when Mom and I were together.  I need to hold on to the feelings and not the "things."

This week, a purple butterfly was nestled in and amongst a drawer of dishtowels and potholders--a drawer I had not ventured to the bottom of, I might add, since unpacking Mom's kitchen 4 years ago so had no recollection that the dainty lace creature with the black chenille stem body was tucked inside.  

A beautiful journal completely blank and ready to be filled with all the thoughts I have been purging here in this blog was another recent find.  The 240-lined pages of the journal include two purple butterflies on each page.

IN WITH THE NEW...
At precisely 12:00 AM January 1, 2015, I posted the following on Mom's Facebook page:

"RING, RING!  Hello?  Is this 2-0-1-5?  Yes, it is!  HAPPY NEW YEAR! to you in heaven, Mom!  Missing you.  Love you."

A ritual passed down from mom's mom to me was to call each other at the stroke of the new year to inquire if the correct number had been reached by stating the new year's numbers one at a time.  The other ritual was to step outside on the porch with a pot or pan and wooden spoon and literally ring in the new year with a loud drumming beat to wake up the neighbors if they hadn't made it to midnight.  I'm happy to report that my kids took care of carrying on that noisy tradition.

My daughter has been painting her emotions while I blog mine.  Her latest creation entitled "Always" is a woman sitting in a cemetery who has recently lost someone.  The woman falls asleep and begins to dream.  In the dream, the one that she's lost comes to her and the woman says to the loved one, "I miss you, why aren't you here?"  The the loved one replies, "I am always here...I am always with you."

I am looking forward to the new year and recording all the blessings and opportunities in my new journal.  I can't wait to see where the next purple butterfly will appear; and while I know I will have times of sadness, I am so very thankful for the years I shared with my mom and continue to know that she is always with me wherever I go.

Countdown to Christmas - Photo Challenge - Day 24:TRADITION

Is tradition built around Christmas or is Christmas built around tradition?  

A tradition is defined as a custom or belief passed on from one generation to the next.

In the case of my family, tradition seems to be defined as a certain food item being associated with specific times of year and passed around the table from one generation to the next.

Christmas morning was more than just presents and knowing that it was the one morning of the year when we would potentially all get along with each other for a few hours.  It was also the once a year Christmas Tree Bread, Eggnog, fresh squeezed orange juice, and bacon...a combination you have to taste to appreciate.  And we brought out the fancy glass plates with the cup ring built in upon which to dine.  

For years, the Christmas Tree Bread was a breakfast pastry that I tried to just get the trunk part of the tree that didn't have any of the fruited-nut filling and the majority of the frosting.  But as I got older, I became quite fond of the entire ensemble taking a larger fruit-filled piece that filled more of the leaf-shaped glass dish.

I did make the Christmas Tree Bread a couple different times after moving out on my own.  But since I was the only one that actually liked it, I have given that traditional food over for something we all enjoy like scones or caramel rolls to go with the eggnog and bacon.  

For our annual Doppa i Gryta event today, my cousin Janet makes a moist white cake in the shape of a Christmas Tree frosted with the richest, creamiest frosting and decorated with red and green m&m's.  The whole family looks forward to this once a year treat, and I even got to take some home!

Traditions will come and go and change over the years, but the breaking of bread with family should remain.